Friday, December 17

I hate humanity and other Christmas sentiments...

Originally uploaded by mrsjack.
Yesterday, I had to pop online to see if Netflix had received my movies that I mailed back to them on Monday. Of course I knew they hadn't since I'd passed their torn open contents strewn up and down the sidewalk on my way back to my house BUT I WAS HOPING I was wrong. Alas, I wasn't. Why is when I WANT to be wrong, I never am.

So I firmly state I HATE HUMANITY! I hate someone who thinks geez I think I'll take those Netflix envelopes from that mailbox. Cause who, besides me, would enjoy watching a gay German art house flik, a Japanese hentai anime, and a British hairstyling movie? So I take meager pleasure in knowing that whoever did nab my Netflix movies and then littered the street with their remains will NOT be enjoying the fruit of their devious endeavors. ha HA!

So yeah today I'm wrapping goodies and presents for this family in need at work and I can't help but think, mr.jack and I ARE in need. I mean we're eating freaking ham sandwiches for the rest of month?? So I can't help but wonder if maybe I should chuck my job, my aspirations, and just start stealing, begging, and hoping for help. Cause at least then I can hate humanity for NOT helping me instead of hurting me.

Alas, it seems my love/hate relationship with humanity will forever float back and forth on the fence. Sometimes it's like the honeymoon stage and we can't get enough of each other and other times it's like we're in a loveless marriage that is broken beyond repair. So humanity, don't piss me off, cause I SERIOUSLY want to love you.

Thursday, December 16

Stuffed Mammal

Had our holiday office lunch today and i'm stuffed. When I can't figure out what to order I sometimes just guess and this time I didn't choose wisely. I had some paper thin noodle thing floating around in between slivers of cheese, hunks of chard, and chucks of squash. Seperately I enjoy them all but together I just couldn't muster the desire to chow down. So being the southern OCD girl I am I got a doggie bag, BECAUSE heaven forbid I suggest that I'm not in LOVE with whatever the frou frou restaurant serves me, that'd just be too honest...and therefore too embarrasing. So all of a sudden I think maybe if I surround myself with foods I loathe I'll end up losing mega-pounds and be a wisp woman in the very soon future. Course then just as my plan was taking hold in my brain, the dessert menu was placed down before me and I sucumbed to the delight of UBER-RICH chocolate brownie complete with caramel ice cream. IT WAS HEAVENLY and filled me up with caffinated joy and love so that now I'm on the point of bursting and feel like taking a very long nap. Course I couldn't finish it either but dreaded the idea of carting around TWO doggie bags (what would the people think?) so I left it there and gobbled up the remaining ice cream and then waddled back to the office to my chair, to sit my newly rounded behind in my relatively comfy chair until I can go home and sleep off this brownie-enduced haze. I am one stuffed mammal.

Tuesday, December 14

Look Inward Much?

I have been reading my last few posts and realize I've been quite introspective lately. Funny, since I was consoling someone else who was making a relationship decision that there's something about the holidays that makes us Frued.

Sometimes I think I tell everyone else what I'm supposed to hear.

Leaves are falling just like snowflakes...

Right outside my window, there was a fierce storm of bright yellow leaves falling down from an already bare tree and I couldn't help but think..that's my snowfall. Sacramento doesn't see snow though to the east in Reno and Tahoe I hear people are skiing, snowboarding, and building snowmen, women, and children. However even with that knowledge I rarely make the trip to see it. There's just something about going away from home to get that homey Christmas feeling that just isn't right. So true I'll get drippy raindrops and yellow leaves instead of pure white snow but somehow I like it that way. Cause my Christmas isn't going to look like anything in the magazine and that's what makes it special.

So here I sit with my jacket on with cold fingers cause I refuse to close my window and enjoy yet another lovely little pattering of 'snow' and I can't help but think how it's so quirky and beautiful. It's just perfect for me, like Nutcracker ballerinas with hot pink mohawks and lime green tutus. Cause even though a traditional Christmas scene is only an hour away I still prefer my non-white Christmas complete with yellow leaves and lime green tutus.

Monday, December 13

Dashing through SF

Saturday, a rather large group of us got together to sing holiday carols to all those busy shoppers and city folk in SF. While the plans were sometimes sketchy we did indeed sing some songs, mumble some words, and make those we passed by smile. Mission Accomplished! I also learned that I have forgotten some of if not a good portion of the words of "Jingle Bells."

While in the city, we shopped in Japantown, visited Tiffany's (Louie's a YEAR OLD!), Williams-Sonoma, and checked out some various SF happenings. Such as the million Santa march that came like droves of locusts upon the Square. It was amazing to watch and I got quite a few pictures of them as they stopped traffic and 'ho ho ho'd' there way to a nearby bar. We also participated in a closing segment for some morning show that was filming in the square. What a busy day! With all this commotion it's a wonder we got any carroling done. But I'm glad we went and I'd do it again NEXT YEAR!

Sunday, mr.jack and I were wiped. So once again we VOWED not to make any plans for the upcoming weekend and just enjoy being us for awhile. We'll see how well I stick to that one. I'm notorious for signing up for everything and anything! Hopefully, tonight we'll get a tree, get it decorated, and get some laundry together to wash. But if we don't we can always procrastinate until the next day!

P.S. I think I might have upset the gods of all those who wear poop brown uniforms and deliver packages. I shall let you know.

Friday, December 10

Sometimes too far seems to be my only destination

Billy Joel said it best.."Why do I always go to extremes?" back in the 80's, a decade of extremity to the extreme. Heck I even think "to the extreme" was a popular catch phrase back then, course I could be wrong. I was just a wee babe for half of the 10 year ME generation festival.

But I digress, my insurance went up $1200 dollars much to my disgust. So I've been not so silently fuming about it to mr.jack. I even called his car insurance people to get a quote that was much more than my new inflated one. So I just talked and talked about why oh why was my insurance going to be so very high. Mr.jack as usual was solid and firm with the "there is nothing you can do about it tonight so call them in the morning." So I did and it turns out I'm paying more for an accident I had, BIG SURPRISE. But because I'm now a MRS. my insurance went down signifigantly. WOOT! So instead of $1200 dollars extra I'm only going to pay $24 dollars more. *sigh* What a relief!

So now that this major panic has past I can't help but wonder why do I have to get some extremely jittery and nervous about it? Why can't I just take mr.jack's solid advice and wait until tomorrow when I'm sure to get the answer from an insurance phone jockey on the East Coast? I'm starting to notice a pattern in my life that I swing from one extreme to another and I can't help but wonder why? I mean sure my life is pretty exciting with it's course of high highs and low lows but what about enjoy some midwest flatness? (This from the girl who left the midwest for more scenic, high adventure country.) I suppose even my choice of moving to CA could be viewed as trading in the mundane and safe for the more scary and possibly rewarding. So maybe it's not so much that "going too far, too high, or too low" is my only destination maybe it's that it's the only map I trust.

Either way I appreciate having a sage like mr.jack for a guide who reminds me not to lose my stomach in preparation for the next big hill. I certainly couldn't take on this ride by myself.

Wednesday, December 8

Going to get my Hanukkah On

hanukkah ~ and menorah is lit
Originally uploaded by striatic.
Every year I say I'm going to celebrate hannukah and I never do. So I VOW to buy a hannukah menorah this year on CLEARANCE and celebrate the festival of lights with all my jewish friends next year! Also I VOW to get some jewish friends by next year or at least try to, I don't think forcing people to be my friend because of their religious beliefs would be a good "in" with the faith.

Monday, December 6

Sneaky Hobo...

So I stayed up a bit too late playing WoW last night (WOO HOO Audie's a lvl 24!!) and therefore wasn't too eager to get out of bed this morning. So I asked mr.jack to take on a few of my morning chores, namely feeding the kitties and making myself three pieces of wheat toast. Well the kitties got fed but the toast just didn't happen. I figured it was a casualty of not getting up but mr.jack wasn't satisfied with the idea of sending his wife off to face work without proper nutrition. So he stopped off at McD's so I could get a breakfast happy meal. Mmm! That sausage biscuit was soo good as was the milk and apples. Very tasty! But the best part, you ask? Getting away with wearing crumbs on my shirt to work. Evil I am, no? Course then I realized that crumbs don't exactly equally attractive or professional so I brushed them off. But ooh that 5-seconds of crumb debauchery sure felt good. ;)

Girls who just want to have fun...

Sunday, mr.jack and I attended Jenny's Christmas party. There was a nice mix of people I knew and people I didn't along with yummy sugar cookies. (I ATE SOO MANY! Even the wonky colored ones that Chris made.) I had a cold this weekend (what a way to start the holiday season, no?) so I wasn't exactly at my best but I'm glad that I sucked it up and went. We had a great time! I played Settlers of Catan for the first time, watched mr.jack kick butt at Halo2, and sang karaoke. Now, I'm not the best singer in the world. I wish I was but I've come to face the cold reality that I just won't be as good as Sheena E. or Pat Benetar. But after growing up as a dork and losing valuable self esteem points during times of endless ridicule, aka elementary school, I've learned that sometimes in order to have a good time you have to put your cojones out here and give it you best shot. (Right Pat?) So mr.jack and I kicked it off with a stirring rendition of "California Dreamin'" duet style. It wasn't very good, even in the most generous of terms, but it started everyone else down the path of sober karaoke. So I learned a valuable lesson, for every good party there must be ONE or TWO sacraficial lambs in the name of Karaoke. So should your party be lacking in doofs who'll risk their pride for your guest's entertainment, give us a ring.

P.S. Jenny has a seriously nice set of pipes.

Thursday, December 2

Haute or Hobo...the update

Well my fashion council, mr.jack, informed that I was leaning a bit closer to the "hobo" end of the scale this morning and even picked out a new sweater for me. So now I have to wonder...before I blogged about many times did I wear something that embarrassed him? And then the thought pops in my head that I JUST got fashion advice from a man who proudly wore a brown/orange/light blue monstrosity from Old Navy that was $1.98. I need a VOGUE STAT!!

Wednesday, December 1

Right Hand Woah-man*

I'm feeling like quite the "woah-man" this morning! Not only did I get up late but I managed to get dressed in a relatively cute outfit (I received a compliment for it..not bad, no?), feed the kitties their multiple chow (wet and dry), make myself breakfast, make a cute hairdo that has that messy intentional look, and load up my digi cam for some much needed snapshot taking throughout the day. But it gets better, OH YES! I even managed to load the fully charged battery while holding my breakfast and putting on my coat. MULTITASKERS EVERYWHERE, MEET YOUR QUEEN!!! (Only cause I like the lesser title better)

* woah-man Pronunciation: 'wO-m&n, esp Southern 'wO- or 'w&-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural wOAH·men
Etymology: Not Quite English, from mrs.jack
1 a : an adult female person who is kick ass b : (see mrs.jack's morning on 12-1-04 for living defintion)